He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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