I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
