Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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