I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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