i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Also, beer. Big fan.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
