I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
