Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
