trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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