If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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