Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
