I want to walk on stilts...naked
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
