Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
