Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
