I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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