47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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