I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize