Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
