I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
