I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
