Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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