remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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