i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
