Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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