im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
