Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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