ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
