I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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