He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
