I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
