clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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