He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's shark week go big or go home
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
