Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I believe in your delicious
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
