I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
