Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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