that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
