Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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