Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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