My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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