haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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