respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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