When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
