Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
