I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
