How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
