you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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