before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
