morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
