i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
