Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
