And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
vagina is talking i cant
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize