We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize