you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
