My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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