if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Redeem this text for a blowjob
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
