I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize