so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
