he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
