Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
