Kiss
Puke
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
