You smell like stripper and shame
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
