Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
