Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
