Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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