You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
